So Why Am I Here?
The internet is full of moms. But they seem to fall into two categories. There are either perfect Pinterest worthy mothers or self proclaimed proud hot mess mamas. But what about the rest of us? Where do the “wanna be Pinterest moms but forget until last minute and stay up until 2am the night before creating “the magic” of a one year old’s birthday party they won’t even remember” hang out? What about the “mother who tries really hard not to be a hot mess, tried her very best, but still forgets it is picture day or that it is spirit week”? Is there a private club for moms who cannot wait until bedtime but then want to snuggle just a little longer when they fall asleep in your arms?”
That’s where I come in.
So How Am I Qualified To Give You Advice?
I am a mama of three, just trying to become the best mom I can be. I buy into countless parenting books and read half of them; I read all the parenting blogs, and agree with about a quarter of them. When I need to know something, I ask Google and then ultimately go with my gut. I don’t have all the answers. But I love my kids.
I want to want to play with my kids but I not so secretly despise doing it. I swear too much (and they pick up on it, using it perfectly when repeating back to me). I yell more than I’d like. My kids eat chicken nuggets way more often than they should but I’m present. I listen when they tell me the never ending stories. I marvel over every piece of art they bring home (even the ones that I can’t make out).
I care deeply about their mental health. I care deeply about my own. I worry about everything and then only care about what’s actually important. I try really hard to make their lives magical to make sure they know they are loved and to insure that they are good people and that’s all that matters.
I also care deeply for other mothers and their struggles. I love to get together with a group of fellow mothers and compare notes. Not like “comparison is the thief of joy” type of comparison but the “Oh My God! You make me feel so normal,” kind of comparison. There is a strength in knowing you are not alone. And I want to create an environment where you feel like my words could be your own and you feel like “one of the girls” comparing notes with me.
Motherhood is not black and white and neither are we as women. I want to create a space where you could get Pinterest like ideas but done by a realistic mom who has limited time and is just trying her best. I want to be a resource for moms who need advice but laugh (or cry) at the thought of perfect feeding schedules and sleep routines. I want to be a source of light for those mamas who are in the thick of it and need guidance and want support from someone who’s been there; from someone who understands; someone who knows that this motherhood game is freaking hard.
No, Seriously Who Are You?
I married a man who I met while living in another state but we grew up 20 minutes apart from each other. He’s a photographer who owns his own business, I have three beautiful children: Harrison, 8; Isla, 6 and Emilia, 2. I also have two big dogs: Tucker and Stella. I live in the town next to my hometown. I am a prep school brat but didn’t go there on scholarship or because my parents had money; in reality my mom worked there and I got to go for free. (Can you tell I have a complex that people would think I was a prep school brat if I didn’t tell them about my free ride because it was my mom’s employer? Nah me neither….)
I went to a private liberal arts college, St Lawrence University, in “almost Canada”, in Northern New York state. I had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Post college, I moved to Newport RI with two of my best friends and somehow fell into mortgage underwriting and 17 years later here I am: starting a mom blog for those not quite hot mess moms who want to be better and who just need some more support. I’ve trained as a postpartum doula, breastfeeding advocate and infant sleep specialist. But my passion for helping new mamas comes from the heart. And I am a huge advocate for postpartum mental health. All mental health really.
Not that mortgage underwriting is unsatisfying (okay it is) but I’ve always felt like there was something missing. I never felt fulfilled and I dreamed of something more. But when I talk about being a mother with friends or when I began advocating for other mothers, that’s when I began to feel a light inside me ignite. When I writing about my adventures as a mother I found that source of fulfillment I had been missing. It helps me to share with you all and I hope that it also helps you too.
Quick Facts
*My favorite vegetable is broccoli.
*I am obsessed with Hamilton. I first saw it in July 2020 when pregnant with my third. I watched and listened to nothing but Hamilton for the duration of my pregnancy and to this day, my daughter can always be soothed by singing “Alexander Hamilton” to her.
*When I started my first job in mortgages I had no idea what a mortgage actually was and I may have accidentally contributed to the housing market crash in 2008 (JK).
*I moved to Rhode Island for a summer and stayed for seven years.
*I’m allergic to cats. I don’t like cats. I don’t know which came first.
*When I was little I wanted nothing more than to be a writer. (Does this count because if so I am winning!)
*But then when I got to college, had no idea what I wanted to do and did what any sane person would do and I decided to major in math. And what am I doing with that expensive Bachelor in Mathematics? Underwriting mortgages and writing about my mom life.
*My best friends to this day are the people I went to elementary school with.
*I used to be super blonde but then after I had kids I now have to dye my hair and it hurts my heart.
*I am obsessed with books and reading. I have a library in my house the books I intend to read or have started and have not finished not because I don’t want to but because there are so many things to read and I want to read them all. And I cannot stop buying books.
*I prefer physical copies of books rather than e-books.
*I was in a sorority in college- something I never saw myself doing but don’t regret one day of it at all! K-A-P-P-A-D-E-L-T-A-S-I-G-M-A! (Shout out to my yellow and green ladies- ILAF)
*I chose my college without ever having visited it and trusted that my friend who didn’t love any other college but visited St Lawrence and fell in love.
*As the sweatshirt I am wearing right now reads, “Ice hockey is my favorite season.”
*I suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety after both my girls were born. It was some of the hardest times of my life. So if I can help you even in the slightest and remind you that you are not alone in how you feel, then writing this blog has been worth it.
Thanks for coming by and I hope that you find even a glimmer of hope that you’re not alone in this new mama life from the tales of my triumphs and the woes of my failures. This is not an easy road, but we are warriors, Mama. You are so unbelievably strong.