Postpartum depression is a serious condition that affects many new mothers. It can make it difficult to bond with your baby and can affect your daily life. When you have children, it is important to talk to them about what you are going through and how it may affect them.
This can be a difficult conversation, but it is important to have in order to help your children understand what is going on and to provide them with the support they need. In this blog post, I will discuss how to talk to children about postpartum depression and what you can do to help them cope.
How I told my children
I remember exactly how my son found out about my own postpartum depression. There was a story in the news about a woman who was suffering from postpartum psychosis and I felt compelled to create my first ever TikTok in response.
I was bragging that my video had received over 19,000 views which piqued my son’s interest as an aspiring YouTuber (aren’t all 8 years old these days?). He wanted to see it, and knowing he was mature enough to handle the content, I let him see it.
When he finished, he asked me about the content. In it, I explained that no mother is immune from getting postpartum psychosis and that as a survivor of postpartum depression myself that me and this mother were not very different. He asked if I had had the same thing. He asked if I wanted to hurt my children, like the woman I mentioned did.
I reassured him that what she had gone through was an extreme case and that I did not suffer from the same afflictions. I explained to him at no point did I ever want to hurt his sister when I was experiencing my own postpartum depression. He is very introspective and followed up with more questions in the next few days. He was most excited to see the number of views growing than the content of the video.
Understanding Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression (PPD) is a mental health disorder that affects mothers after giving birth. It is not uncommon and can affect up to 1 in 7 women. PPD is caused by a combination of hormonal changes, physical exhaustion, and emotional stress.
Symptoms of PPD include feeling sad or depressed, having difficulty bonding with your baby, feeling guilty or ashamed, experiencing irritability or anger, and having trouble sleeping or eating. It’s important to note that PPD can occur anytime within the first year after giving birth.
Isolated and Alone
PPD can be a challenging and isolating experience, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone. It’s essential to seek help if you’re experiencing any symptoms of PPD. With treatment, PPD can be managed, and recovery is possible.
It’s crucial to talk about PPD with your children, so they understand what you’re going through and know that it’s not their fault.
The more we talk about PPD, the more we can break the stigma and create a supportive community for those who are dealing with it. Let’s dive deeper into why it’s important to talk to your children about PPD.
The Importance of Talking to Your Children About PPD
Postpartum depression (PPD) can be a challenging and overwhelming experience for mothers, and it can also affect their children. That’s why it’s crucial to talk to your children about PPD to help them understand what is happening and support them through this difficult time.
Additionally, talking about PPD can also reduce stigma and shame surrounding mental health. By discussing the topic with your children, you’re letting them know that it’s okay to talk about mental health struggles, and it’s not something to be ashamed of.
What’s wrong with mom?
Children may notice that their mother is not feeling like herself and might have a hard time understanding why. It’s common for them to feel confused, worried, or scared when they witness their mother’s struggle with PPD. Talking openly and honestly with your children can help them process their feelings and better cope with the situation.
Not addressing PPD with your children can also have negative effects on their mental health. It can lead to confusion, anxiety, and even resentment towards the mother for not being “normal.” Therefore, it’s important to start the conversation and support them through this challenging time.
It’s essential to remember that even young children can understand the basic concept of mental health, and it’s possible to talk to them about PPD in age-appropriate ways. Having age-appropriate conversations will help them better understand what is happening and reassure them that they’re not at fault.
When to Talk To Your Children About PPD
As with any difficult topic, timing is important when it comes to discussing postpartum depression (PPD) with your children. You want to make sure that your children are at a developmental stage where they can understand what you’re telling them, but also where they won’t be overwhelmed or confused.
What the experts say
Experts recommend that parents wait until their children are at least 8 years old before broaching the topic of postpartum depression. At this age, children have a greater ability to understand complex emotions and can begin to grasp the concept of mental health.
It’s important to remember that you know your child best, and their level of emotional maturity may vary. It’s important to be aware of their individual emotional needs and development, as well as their understanding of PPD. Some children may need more time before they can process this information, while others may be able to handle it at an earlier age.
Not sure when to discuss Postpartum Depression?
If you’re not sure whether or not your child is ready to talk about PPD, you can use indirect approaches to start the conversation. For example, you can introduce the concept of mental health by reading books about feelings, emotions, and self-care, or you can watch age-appropriate TV shows or movies that deal with mental health.
Ultimately, the goal is to make sure your child feels supported and has the tools they need to cope with difficult situations, both now and in the future. Talking about PPD can be a valuable opportunity to help your child understand that mental health struggles are common, and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
How to Talk to your Children about PPD
It’s not easy to discuss mental health issues with children, especially when they involve their parents. However, it’s important to be open and honest with them, so they can understand what’s happening and know that it’s not their fault. Here are some tips for talking to your children about postpartum depression (PPD):
1. Be honest and clear: Use simple language and age-appropriate explanations to help your children understand what PPD is and how it affects you.
2. Emphasize that it’s not their fault: Let your children know that they are not responsible for your depression and that it’s not their job to fix it.
3. Let them know that it’s temporary: Reassure your children that PPD is treatable and that you will get better with time and help from healthcare professionals.
4. Encourage questions: Invite your children to ask questions and provide honest answers. If you don’t know the answer, tell them that you’ll find out.
5. Validate their feelings: Let your children express their emotions and concerns about the situation. Acknowledge their feelings and offer support.
6. Provide age-appropriate resources: Depending on your children’s age, you can offer books or videos that explain PPD in a way that they can understand.
7. Get help if needed: If your children are struggling to cope with your depression or if you need extra support to talk to them about it, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional.
Remember that every family is different, and you know your children best. Take their age and personality into consideration when deciding how to approach the conversation. With open and honest communication, you can help your children understand what’s happening and feel supported during this difficult time.
Tips for Supporting Children Whose Parents Are Dealing with PPD
1. Encourage open communication: Make sure that your children feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings about postpartum depression. Encourage them to ask questions and listen to their concerns.
2. Provide reassurance: Let your children know that they are loved and that the postpartum depression is not their fault. Reassure them that things will get better and that you are there for them.
3. Create a routine: A routine can help children feel safe and secure. Try to stick to a consistent schedule for meals, bedtimes, and other activities. This can help provide stability during a challenging time.
4. Involve them in activities: Include your children in age-appropriate activities that can help distract them from any stress or worry they may be feeling. These could be things like reading together, playing board games, or going for walks outside.
5. Seek professional help: If you feel that your child is struggling to cope with the situation, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can help your child work through their feelings and develop coping strategies.
6. Take care of yourself: Caring for a parent with postpartum depression can be stressful, so it’s important to take care of your own mental and emotional well-being. This can help you better support your children during this challenging time.
Remember, postpartum depression can be a difficult and complex issue for families to navigate, but with open communication, patience, and support, your family can get through it together.
Please comment below if you had to have this difficult conversation with your children. It’s not easy, but having them understand what is happening or what happened in the past is better than them worrying and creating more anxiety in them.